Scheduling God

Here I sit, on a bitterly cold Tuesday, just after noon. On an average Tuesday, I would be at work, just starting my lunch break right now. But today, it is so cold that we were off of school. This means that I am entirely off of my normal routine. Those who know me well know that I don't tend to having my schedule disrupted well. To make up for being off yesterday, we will be having school on Friday and today's "make up day" will be an additional day next month. I don't like Friday school, because it messes up my weekend. I realize that I'm incredibly blessed to teach in a setting where I usually have a guaranteed three day weekend every week. Except that I have a Friday routine. I'm just starting to get back into my Fridays after having two weeks off for Christmas and New Years. When things keep getting cancelled and rearranged, I'm struggling with my reactions. I want desperately to just be able to chill in my routine, knowing that things will just line up well.

As a ministry wife, this is a serious shortcoming. For those who have spent time in ministry, you know why I realize that this has to change. I need to get better at adapting to change. Some weeks, my husband is home every night. Other weeks, he is traveling and I might actually only get to see him for an hour or two that whole week. This means that we must make the most of the few hours that we do have together, even if it means just sitting on the bed talking with him while he empties and reloads his luggage.

Sometimes, God disrupts our routines. The God that we serve isn't one that operates on our time clock, keeping Himself reserved for those fifteen minutes that we have free in our chaotic, overbooked day. While He is a gentleman, not coming in where he isn't welcomed, it doesn't mean that we can write His schedule too. When we have committed ourselves to His service, and given ourselves and our schedules to Him, sometimes things get complicated. Sometimes, we have to just call and say "I'm not going to make it to this ________ today, something unexpected came up. Let's reschedule _________."

Today is one of those days for me.

I feel like God is just saying, "I gave you days off because I see that you're exhausted. I get this. Now, come and spend some time with Me so that you can relax and recharge. Stop pushing yourself and let me take care of you for these few hours."

I struggle to know what to do with that, but right now I've got my headphones in and I'm listening to a worship playlist. As soon as that first song came on, I felt a peace that I haven't felt in quite a while. I guess God is going to take care of me. I'm still struggling with letting myself just take the break; my brain just wants me to keep trying to update my entire science class schedule to accommodate these days off but still keep the labs on the right days of the week. I don't even have the binder to do this rescheduling; I left it at school so that if something went wrong, someone else could pick it up and know exactly what I have planned for that day. When it is warmer out, I'll bring it home sometimes to update, but when it is cold like this or some kind of being sick is flying around like crazy again, I leave it just in case.