Until last night, I wasn't sure what the words were to explain why I need to be touched so much. I guess that I just hadn't ever thought of it from this perspective. But yes, I am one of those people who will probably always crave touch. While I don't like when others can see that I'm not ok, I love it when they ask if I need a hug and proceed to give me one. Hugs, a hand on the arm, even patting me on the head like a little kid (as long as you aren't being condescending about it), are all things that make me feel loved.
I've figured out now that there are two kinds of touches for me, healing and destructive. This isn't like good touch bad touch that we are taught as children. Healing touch is any touch that is given freely, without reservation, and is filled with love. Destructive touch is a touch that is forced and coerced, one with a darker hidden message behind it.
Touching me in a loving way is like reaching into my heart and taking the hand of the little girl inside and promising to help protect and heal her. This is a very wounded little girl, so used to being hurt that any trace of honest love means the world. Healing this little girl is a process, and until she is healed, as an adult I'm not going to be either. So if you see me looking like I could use a hug, feel free to come over and offer if you want to.
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